I AM NOT OK – and that’s OKAY!

By Sharon Orapeleng
13 August 2021

Earlier this week I logged on to my online meeting while working from home and I was immediately immersed within a group conversation about the COVID-19 situation unfolding across Australia. Here at least in Brisbane; we had just come out of a snap lockdown to contain the Delta variant in the community; and were about to return to ‘normality’ – whatever that meant in these Covid times.

The talk about Covid19 has become such a normal conversation starter at meetings and workplaces – replacing the usual mundane weather conversation. It has now become de rigueur to check in about case numbers, restrictions or lock down measures – masks, yes masks and ooh, how we all hate to wear masks etc.

Now as I sat there listening to the ongoing conversation and waiting for an appropriate pause to say ‘Hello, sorry I am late’ (even though it was simply 2 minutes past the scheduled time) I heard ‘Hi Sharon, how are you? – we were just talking about the Covid-19 situation’

I paused and immediately felt as if I was trying to catch my breath, I could feel it escaping me. I knew instinctively I was going to experience a spiral emotional downer. Yes, I was triggered; here in a work meeting with external stakeholders; I was breaking down – tears and all.

You see I woke up that ‘normal’ Brisbane morning like everyone else, but as I checked my phone - a WhatsApp message had come in through the night simply saying ‘Rrangwane Magare is no more’. Five words that shattered my heart. The last few weeks these words announcing that a person I knew was ‘no more’ had become so normal, so expected, so everyday just like the conversation about Covid19 at almost every meeting I attended. 

As I began to rumble on about the devastating impact of Covid-19 in my home country Botswana (currently experiencing the highest surge of the delta variant in the world resulting in unimaginable loss of life) I felt that I wanted - I needed - to explain, to tell Botswana’s story, to justify the reason why the tears kept on falling!

I had just been told (yet again) this week, someone I cared about had died; having not long before that, watched (yet another) online funeral of another person I knew who also died of Covid19 complications. This is now over 10 people who I know closely who have passed on in the last three weeks. These are people I grew up with, the people I lived, loved and played with.  As I tried to reconcile the obvious contradiction; that here we were living in an environment that was ‘going back to normal’; whilst simultaneously knowing my country of birth was on its knees. Talk around the issue of Covid may be a normal conversation, but these are by no means ‘normal’ times.

These last few weeks my mental, spiritual and physical health has threatened to abandon me – to simply spiral down into some dark abyss so familiar; as I have experienced before, I am now holding on to the smallest thread of hope that still exists and praying it does not completely abandon me.

I am telling you that – I. AM. NOT. OK. I am struggling and I am doing utmost everything in my power to process what is going on around me. The loss. The grief. The anxiety.

A few months ago, I developed a program about Sisterhood Circle focusing on Self-Care to explore the Self- Essentials – Ingredients for Self-Care. This was to be a six-month sisterhood circle journey created to reconnect, restore and re-frame (3 Rs) through monthly zoom sessions and face to face sessions. An educational and self-empowerment group focusing on ingredients for self-care to build protective factors for mental health using culturally focused practices of self-care by tapping into knowledge from ancient cultures as well as innovative practices that have evolved over the years.

Little did I know that this program that I had planned to offer to others was a program that was simply designed for me, to save me. I never knew how much I would tap on to the same strategies that I have developed for others. As I now immerse myself through this Self First program – I am reminded that IT IS OK - NOT TO BE OK. Particularly in these times that we are experiencing which are clearly NOT normal times.

I don’t know how I will react to another death notice. Yes, I expect it - it is just the reality of the times we are living through. Currently I am simply focused on putting a spiritual, physical and mental armoury to give myself the best possible chance of surviving the traumatic and complex grief of Covid19 experiences. It is messy, it is complex – there are many tears, there are moments of no tears and numbness, there are moments of perpetual feelings of jetlag, exhaustion, confusion, self-doubt, zoomies-like energy – the entire gamut of human emotion.  

Today on Friday 13 August - I have a day off work as a mental health day where I will be immersing myself into therapy - flotation therapy through my good friends at City Cave Australia as well as few other wellness activities I have planned for today.
 
Here I am to remind YOU that whatever you are feeling; whatever your ‘NORMAL’ looks like as we navigate our way through this pandemic………… IT IS OK - NOT TO BE OK. Seek help and that is also OK.

If you or someone you know need support-please call the following helplines or visit your local GP .
 
Lifeline Australia 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
MensLine Australia 1300 78 99 78
 
Multicultural Connect Line   1300 079 020
 
Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service 1800 512 348
 
1300 MH CALL (1300 64 22 55)
 
Translating and Interpreting Service (TIS National) -131 450
 
TIS National is for people who do not speak English and for agencies and businesses that need to communicate with their non-English speaking clients

About Self- Essentials – Ingredients for Self -Care

We will relaunch the Sisterhood Circle focusing on Self-Care to explore the Self- Essentials – Ingredients for Self -Care in January 2022.

If you are interested to learn more about our Self-Care and Sistahood Circle please email us at sharon@psychedsolutions.com.au

Lending a helping hand during mental health distress through Mental Health First Aid

Mental health pain is as real as any physical pain to any part of the body. However, unlike physical pain where sometimes the injury is visible or physically and behaviourally expressed, mental health pain can be a very hidden, isolating, deep dark pain that may seem to have no end. Whether it is physical pain or mental health pain both require some sort of intervention to ease the pain or stop the pain and without intervention it can lead to a crisis situation. The importance of knowing what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and who to call for support can be a matter of life and death.

Mental health issues are more common than you think. One in five of us will experience a common mental health illness such as depression, anxiety or alcohol and other drug misuse in each year. This means someone in your close friend circle, work mate, family, community, or even yourself may suffer the impact of mental health illness at some point in your life.

Just like physical first aid and CPR, mental health first aid is a life skill, the course teaches you to identify the early signs of developing mental health issues and to know of local mental health services and support systems available as well as ability to respond effectively during a mental health crisis situation; such as someone experiencing suicidal thoughts and behaviours; until professional help is accessed.

For Sharon Orapeleng, a mental health professional and Director of Psyched Solutions with accreditation to deliver the mental health first aid course, this issue is personal. “

“Mental health issues are the reality of many Australians every day and helping to create awareness around the impact of these issues is something I am very passionate about, because it can save a life” she said.

Diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and anxiety a few years ago Sharon knows first-hand the debilitating impact of mental illness and how early intervention can help save a life.

“As a mental health professional working in the mental health system, and wearing many hats as a mother, wife, community leader, advocate and consultant; I was the one who always helped anyone who needed help, always doing for others; and when a car accident turned my life around, no one outside my immediate family noticed I was struggling, no-one noticed I needed help” She said.

“It was easier to talk about the physical pain, the back surgery, the struggle to walk, the physical healing but the emotional pain remained and until I received the help needed.”

“You never know what is around the corner, your life can change in a second and knowing what to do, how to help yourself or lend a helping hand to another person during the struggle with mental health issues is critical.”

Sharon has been delivering mental health first aid course for over five years to the public, government and non-government organisations such as Australian Red Cross and many others. In 2016 she teamed up with Brisbane rugby community through the newly formed organisation “Rugby Unite” to raise mental awareness in the community of rugby as their Mental Health First Aid Course Instructor.

“The aim of the Rugby Unite organisation in partnership with Mental Awareness Foundation is to have every rugby club in Queensland to have a trained Metal Health First Aid Officer including players, coaches, referees and club members, to create a supportive community that allows for mental health issues to be talked about and help people access much needed help” Sharon said.

To register for Sharon’s upcoming accredited Mental Health First Aid Course on Friday 30 June and Saturday 1 July 2017 in Ashgrove, Brisbane contact Sharon at Psyched Solutions, www.psychedsolutions.com.au or call 0411 330 382. Direct link for booking is here

To learn more about Mental Health First Aid go to www.mhfa.com.au